Chapter 31

This week marks my 31st birthday. 

I have mixed feelings - I feel as though my recovery has been slow and that I haven't felt much improvement, but I have felt more positive than I have in the six months since my last operation - as though I am due and deserve to celebrate. 

As we ease out of lockdown, the options to celebrate are limited, but if I'm honest with myself I don't yet feel ready for the big wide world - aside from my boys, I feel like I have no news or change to report and have felt stuck on pause for weeks upon weeks. I haven't drank alcohol for a long time and wouldn't feel ready to 'party' as such -  I'd like to stay within the cocoon I've built around myself until I'm healed enough to face everyone. 

We plan to spend the next three days as a family of four or seeing immediate family on both sides;  celebrating and creating memories, hopefully with some sunshine (!!) 

I'm looking forward to Covid restrictions easing further, with my next reiki session booked for as soon as next week, along with nail appointments and a trip to Chessington World of Adventures with the boys to enjoy as a family. 

Restrictions lifting just as I am beginning to feel positive feels almost deliberate and the start of a new chapter. Chapter 31. (cringe) 

I'm a huge believer in creating positivity for a positive outcome - Rare Disease UK recently shared my story on their website (which you can read here: Lauren’s Story - Rare Disease UK ) and I'm hoping that will raise awareness for other people, children and parents going through what I have been through - that one day this experience, blog and story won't be about me anymore - but that my words will help someone;  help them through the difficult journey that a rare disease or a major operation is. 

I am also taking part in a naked photoshoot in a couple of weeks (the evidence of which perhaps shouldn't be shared here...) to promote post surgery body positivity and confidence. I'm aware it's incredibly daring; half of the shoot will be outside in a public place (hot water bottles at the ready!) but isn't that what life is about? I haven't been living for so long, feeling as though my wings have been clipped and now is the time to live life to the full. 
Things have been tough and although my darkest days are almost pitch black - I'm feeling more ready than ever to push life's limits. 

So this week not only will I be celebrating my birthday, I'll be celebrating being alive.