What a pain in the a***

 I now associate uncomfortable, warm weather with my poor health.  When I found out about my SCT in 2019, it was at the end of June and by the time I had my first major operation, it was the middle of summer. I spent my first set of recovery in the uncomfortable heat, trying to sleep with a variety of fans and open windows, my body swelling in the heat during it's already inflamed state. So it was already a link in my mind, last month, when I woke up on the hottest day of the year (so far) mentally preparing myself get ready for my fourth operation.  We drove into London and I arrived at a hospital I hadn't yet been to before ( I'm slowly checking them all off) on Harley Street.  I hadn't done my research on the hospital before arriving, but I was met in the waiting room by several women who all had an air of excitement about them, which confused me as I felt anxious and a sense of dread over yet another surgery.  It wasn't until I was in my hospital room, dressed a

 It started with Thomas the Tank Engine.  There was an episode where The Fat Controller told Thomas to 'change his attitude' over a trivial but seemingly important task and the my children asked 'what does attitude mean?'.  Trying to explain certain words or phrases to four year old's is quite difficult but we settled with 'changing how you see, act and deal with something'. A similar issue arose when they asked me what 'pathetic' meant and I spent a while contemplating on how to describe that in basic terms, my answer; 'being a bit silly', but the attitude question stirred something inside me that told me to practice what I preach.  I've been worried about the next operation, the days are ticking by and with every pre operation form from the hospital, my anxiety is building and pickling my insides with worry. It's the lack of control that is the worst part of it - I have no control on how my body has been dealing with the impact from