What a pain in the a***

So this week I saw my surgeon, to get my MRI results - and wait for it.....  I GOT THE ALL CLEAR!!!!!  The cavity where my coccyx and the tumour's have once stood, is looking 'the best it's ever been' apparently and aside from the expected scar tissue and inflammation from the three operations, I shouldn't need to have further surgery or any intrusive examinations.  There is still a small open wound from the last operation which should heal in time and my infection levels are still high but have come down hugely since Christmas.  I'm still getting my head around it all - in shock almost - this has been my life for eighteen months and it will be strange not to work my weeks around hospital  and nurse appointments - I feel almost alone in the big wide world, I've had so many health professionals holding my hand over the last two years that I'm second guessing myself - waiting for someone to say they have made some sort of mistake - that something else has

With or without chronic pain, these last few weeks have been tough to say the least. I'm sure anyone in the UK would agree.  With the country plunged into lockdown at the start of 2021, we have wrapped ourselves up into our little bubble - almost hiding from the world and realising that there IS such thing as 'too much news'; especially when everything feels negative and there isn't much good news to hear.  Our weeks have been punctuated with the news of friends catching the virus or of people we know dying from the virus; quietly mourning the ones we have lost and praying for the ones who are sick to pull through, whilst secretly and perhaps selfishly touching wood that we continue to stay safe and that our family members stay protected from such a deadly virus. We have made sure to donate to charities for the vulnerable that are struggling right now such as;  Age UK and Streets of London as we feel so helpless and there is nothing else we can do.  If the news wasn'

 This week marks three months since my last operation.  This morning, I came across the poem and illustrations I created, for my boys, to help them to understand and to reassure them whilst I was away in hospital. I also filled the end of the book with photographs of good times we’ve shared as a family; birthdays, Christmases and holiday’s along with a photo of my hospital bed , from the second operation, to give them an idea of where I would be - incase they ever worried about me.   Being a parent means your thoughts and concerns automatically sit with your children before yourself - I wanted to ensure they knew it was ok to feel anxious but that me being away was only to ensure I would get better. No matter how nervous I was, I needed to stay strong for them.  I also bought them a doctors kit, to find once I had gone to hospital, to help them feel included in looking after me and helping me to recover! It was an incredibly distressing time - reading it back has sparked my memory on h