What a pain in the a***

To make matters worse  the nurse next to the anaesthetist exclaimed ' oh is it that you?!'  and then turning to me -  'I've heard all about you and your husband! - we laugh about that all the time!'   Fantastic.  Laying there on the bed once again, waiting to be wheeled in and cut open, I could see the medical staff bustling in preparation through the square windows on the double doors. I focused instead, on the beeping machines that I was being hooked up onto. A pillow was put under my head and the hospital knickers were slid off, which is always a very incredibly vulnerable feeling - as I stated in my post about the first operation, in order to remove the tumour I needed to be face down, bum up for the duration of the surgery - so of course I had to be knickerless but there really is nothing attractive about that image. As I was counting down from one hundred whilst breathing in the general anesthetic, my anxiety grew once again. My mind rushed with worries of bei

Lockdown taught us many things. The biggest lesson it taught my husband and I is how difficult it is to entertain not one, but two toddlers when you have not got the luxury of soft play, play parks or swimming pools to entertain them - when they become bored with their toys or books and TV or Disney films just don't cut it. We ended up buying them a new slide and playhouse that spring, along with lots of new books just to keep them entertained. We taught them how to bake bread, to grow fruit, vegetables and how to plant flowers. Our house was also transformed that spring, in a spring clean to the max - almost every room was re decorated and the boys tried a hand at helping to paint with their dad - which ended up in chaos as you can imagine - but a lot of fun.  I spent my 30th birthday during the first national lockdown - we were meant to go away as a family to Cornwall at a rented cottage with my parents, my brother, and his fiancé. In fact, my brother and his fiancé had just to

I've recently realised that my children have no concept of time and what is appropriate; it is early February and they are still determined to watch 'The Grinch', 'The Snowman'  - I have heard the chorus of 'We're walking in the air' more times than I can count and it's messing with my annual clock. They look at me with confusion when I stress ' You can't play that it's February!' or 'Please don't sing Jingle Bells; its not Christmas!' - like,' mother, calm down, it's just a song, why does it matter? what is February anyway, aside from just being a word?'. I mean it's not really the response I get, what I actually get is; ' why? why? why? why?'.  Things aren't how they 'usually' are at the beginning of the year anyway; we are still in a national lockdown, the usual January gym sessions aren't available as they gyms aren't open, we can't catch up with family and friends in per