The weeks following the surgery were full of hospital appointments alongside wedding related emails and wedding dress fittings. Funnily enough when I first tried on wedding dresses, in the shop that I bought my dress from, the lady called me 'curvy' and said only certain dresses would suit me; well with my new surgery and bowel prep diet, I hobbled in like a pale, hairy version of skeletor and I sure showed her!
Looking back, I feel sorry for the woman I was, who should have had her hen weekend and enjoyed the run up to her wedding without cancer test results (which fortunately were negative) , wound appointments and getting her bum out on a daily basis. I couldn't enjoy the wedding preparations due to my recovery and I couldn't concentrate on my recovery due to the wedding preparations; I was locked in a vortex of both which were demanding my full attention.
A week or so after I was discharged from hospital, my stitches dissolved prematurely and I was left with a gaping wound which then needed to be packed numerous times a day which was very painful; packing is when instead of covering a wound with bandage or gauze, you push the gauze inside of the wound to stop the skin from healing over the top - which would lead to the wound healing from the outside but not the inside - the wound was so large it needed to heal from the inside out. On the day my fiancé saw the wound for the first time since the stitches dissolved his reaction was to ask me how I was still alive and that it looked like something out of a 'horror film' - considering the guy watched me give birth to both of his children on the same day, this was quite a statement. With advice from the hospital but no professional training, he tended to the wound everyday with me bent over the bed and my bum out - as raunchy as it sounds, it wasn't sexy in the slightest and not quite how we expected the weeks leading up to our wedding to be!
People asked if and suggested that we postpone the wedding - this was annoying as so much had been taken away from me already (the honeymoon to South Africa and Mauritius was also up in the air due to my health) and I was determined to soldier on. Now we know what was to happen the year after with COVID-19, we wouldn't have had the wedding we wanted by postponing to 2020 anyway, so I'm glad we went with our instincts.
We had a beautiful wedding - we got married at a golf club estate in Essex and managed to hold the ceremony outside underneath a wooden veranda, due to the gorgeous late September weather, decorated with ivy foliage, gypsophilia, hypericum berry clusters and eucalyptus. We held canapes and champagne outside on the patio looking over vast greenery and woodland beyond the golf course, dined on beef wellington, sweet cherry duck breast and fresh fruit pavlova whilst a magician entertained the guests during the wedding breakfast. We also had a videographer that allowed for our guests to leave us tipsy celebratory messages and friends made collaborated video of them signing parts to 'all night long' by Lionel Ritchie. We also had a fantastic live band who were incredible and performed our first dance - the evening celebrations carried on until the early hours with an evening buffet and an impressive tiered 'cake' of cheese wheels, fruits and chutneys along with our wedding cake made beautifully by our close friend. Everything was as planned and by the time the evening came, I was tired and ached but despite the pain I danced on the dance floor until the last song determined not to let this beat me. Most importantly my husband and I were in a happy bubble; along with our children, family and friends. We celebrated how far we had come and he still wanted to marry me with an open wound and half a coccyx!
We hit the first day of marriage back with a bang the next day - I had another nurse appointment at my GP practice and a wound check- the wound was taking a long time to heal from the inside due to the size. Luckily I have built a great relationship with her and she gave me the all clear to go on our honeymoon despite the wound still being open. My surgeon was also on the end of the phone for any emergencies as he knew professionals in South Africa who I could go to should I need to.
Within a week we were on our flight to Cape Town full of excitement - I had an MRI scan a couple of days before which showed no sign of infection so was free to go. I didn't allow the surgery or wound to stop me the entire trip - we swam in our infinity pool, we explored, we went wine tasting, on boat rides, watched the sunset from Table Mountain and went on our booked safari adventures. I wasn't able to drink as much and nor was I able to stay up as late as I used to - the surgery had eaten away at my strength and energy - more evenings were spent sitting on our balcony than partying but we really felt that we had come towards the end of such an awful journey.
We returned with memories and ready for a fresh start - the year was edging towards Halloween and I had previous conversations with my employers to return in late October, early November. Going back to work was easier than expected - the support and flexible hours allowed for a comfortable hand over and I was glad to be back.
Soon after we received our wedding photos, which on a whole were wonderful but I was and still am disheartened by how pale and thin I appeared in them - a reminder that no matter how far we have come, the wedding wasn't the biggest event to happen to us that year.
You may have been on the slim side after all that stress... but look at that Arse!!! What a beautiful bride you were xxx
ReplyDelete