What a pain in the a***

 I've been completely rubbish this year - I haven't sent out a single Christmas card - I've been so wrapped up with organising the office Christmas party, the boys Christmas presents and literally wrapped up in wrapping paper and Sellotape that I forgot to buy the cards and then I intended to buy the cards and times has moved on and a single card hasn't been bought. So if you're one of the kind people that have sent us a card - I sincerely apologise - I will donate the money I was going to spend on a box of cards to charity and I promise to be on it next year!  I've also decided to take some time out in the next few weeks - I'm tired, exhausted and in a lot of pain. My next operation is booked for 10th January (my 5th operation in 29 months). I will be having X-ray guided lumbar facet joint and sacroiliac joint radiofrequency injections, which are expected to cause a great deal of pain, and I will need to rest completely for around four weeks afterwards. I&#

 I have only just discovered 'The Spoon Theory' - I know, I'm late to the party, having dealt with exhaustion for over two years now - and I wish I had read about it sooner, to help me explain my exhaustion to friends, family and work; to describe what I actually feel when I say I'm tired.  For those who don't know, for those who do, just bear with me - The Spoon Theory, a story by Christine Miserandino - a sufferer of Lupus, is where she tried to describe the realties of living with chronic illness to a friend. Miserandino goes on to explain how she gathered spoons and used them to represent units of energy. She asked her friend to walk her through her normal day, taking spoons (energy) away from the friend as the conversation went on. By the end of the day - her friend wasn't able to do was much as she wanted and therefore realised how few 'spoons' people like Miserandino, who live life with a chronic illness, had the luxury of spending.  For example,

This week marks one year since my last major operation. I haven't written a post for a while and that is mostly because there hasn't been much to update, on my recovery, no good news that that I can end on a positive note, no 'I'm pain free' or 'I'm feeling much better' - which is frustrating as it is negative and I didn't want this blog to be doom and gloom - however, I did want it to be honest - so I'll write an update which is exactly that.  After my pain specialist left me pondering the four options I had, in order to proceed with my recovery, I went to the pharmacy to collect my monthly prescription of Citalopram (taken for OCD and PTSD in my case, but we all have our own story) - the GP at the pharmacy confirmed that my pain specialist just went ahead and changed my medication anyway (remember it was a matter of replacing my citalopram with a 'rubbish anti depressant' which was a good pain relief but a 'RUBBISH' antidepressa

  I've been taking some time out over the summer, creating memories with my  boys before they start school in September. It's such a cliché when people ay it, but you really do wonder where the time goes once you have children.  My pain has been unbearable at times, with good days and bad days continuing over the last few weeks - with not being able to rest since the pain injections-  after the chicken pox saga! I have been learning how to mange and listen to my body effectively. Unfortunately, we haven't managed to travel this year as a family, with everything Covid related, but instead have taken the boys to place's such as, London, museums, the beach nearby and swimming. My pain still goes hand in hand with exhaustion over the last few weeks - the more I do, if I dare to leave the house, socialize or life my life; I pay for it the next day in excruciating pain in my lower back and exhaustion. However I pushed myself hard and as a family we had many lovely days out al

As soon as we returned from our holiday at Centre Parcs; my other son came down with the chicken pox. They timed it well - neither of them were unwell during the holiday, allowing them both to enjoy it, which I was very glad about, but I can't believe how well they timed it. We also found out on our holiday that the boys are identical twins - after four years of believing they were non identical, being in separate sacs and two placentas  but looking very similar as they grew up - we took a DNA test to find out (mostly for any medical purposes in future) and it turns out my little boys are identical twins!  After a fun packed holiday, we were back to reality with a bump. I had used muscles during swimming and activities that I hadn't used for months and I felt tired and ached when we returned. However, I could feel a slight, SLIGHT improvement in the pain. Nothing amazing, I wasn't about to jump up and start ding cartwheels BUT the pain had improved and that was AMAZING! Aft

 - Participate in another charity run - Become an organ donor - Raise money for sufferers of sacrococcygeal teratoma's  - Do a naked photoshoot to raise awareness for SCT  - Take my boys to Disneyland Florida - Visit an elephant sanctuary  - Experience the Northern lights - Go scuba diving / see a coral reef (urgent!)  - Learn how to pole dance to strengthen my core  - become fluent in another language - Write a book  - Run a marathon  - Visit a natural spring  - Go whale watching  - Adopt an animal  - Volunteer at a homeless shelter - Visit New York  - Take the boys camping in the middle of nature  - See a Cirque de Soleil show  - Learn all about bee keeping  - Learn the basics of reiki